A false display of happiness projected onto the public in order to hide and continue abuse privately is called "pseudo mutuality". This is the reason why narcissistic abuse can be so difficult to recognize and even harder to remove oneself from. The most confusing fact is how abusive individuals are able to be incredibly kind, caring, and generous at times. It is different from a “normal” argument because there’s no attempt to listen or understand the other’s position and no attempt to compromise without punishments or threats. Toxic bonding at its best, lack of boundaries, emotional manipulation, and rigid enmeshment are all indications of this abuse. 

A narcissist's methods are always used with the end goal of turning others against a person in hopes that others do not search for or find the truth. According to a recent study, when someone uses pseudo mutuality, it makes it extremely difficult for the person to recognize the problems going on and for other people to acknowledge the problems and help them. They will often use gaslighting to try to put self-doubt and confusion into the person’s mind. By isolating, giving the silent treatment and withholding affection the narcissist attempts to further exclude the victim from support, in order to gain more support and control for their side of the story. If others aren't asking the victim for their side of the story, then others aren't likely to find out the truth of what is actually happening and the narcissist will not be exposed for who they truly are.

The pseudomutuality in narcissistic relationships thrives off of relationship imbalances. It seems that the narcissist holds the power and control, while the victim is happy to stay on the fence to keep the narcissist happy. In addition to that, it has been proven that narcissists tend to refuse to give a person closure and will create an emotional hook that will make one think they need to explain their behavior. They may try to manipulate a person into revealing how badly you hurt them.